Month: February 2016

Cutting ties….

Yesterday, a new patient walked into my therapy room, sat across me and poured her heart out. After years and years of allowing others to control her….she was close to breaking point. This control was not just physical but mental attachments. She felt weighed down and her life felt like it stood still. I instantly resonated with her and empathised with her pain. Many years ago, I had a deep rooted connection with my late dad, who passed away when I was only 19. I felt guilt mixed with  sadness and anger towards him, for leaving us at such a young age. It took many years of me living a life with an empty numbness in my heart.

Although I had amazing things happening around me like marrying my soulmate, starting my beautiful family and being surrounding by my loved ones, that string of attachment…an extremely strong one, edged this profound intense sadness inside me. I had to work really hard on myself for many years, to cut this emotional tie that anchored me to my late dad. The day I allowed myself to cut this tie, which felt like a thick rope tugging at my heart, was a time when I could stop grieving. Forgiveness and  acceptance came naturally thereafter.  Hypnosis was a fantastic tool that allowed me to free my dad’s soul, which was caged up in my heart within my rib cage.

But life is such that along your journey you grow other ties where some are more stronger than others. Living so far away from my family in South Africa, I often feel strong emotions of longing and these are other examples of emotional ties. Quite often, I think of my mum or my in laws, who are like my second parents…I feel for their hugs to comfort me. Again these feeling can be really painful and  just like creepers in a garden, it can take over that space momentarily. What helps me is visualising that emotional tie chaining my heart to theirs, and with a scissors cutting that chain. You see, in your mind’s eye, that chain falling to the ground, leaving you with an instant lightness in your mind and body. It’s a feeling that is releasing and allows you to breathe with ease again.

You realise that life  is a journey with its ups and downs…along the way new emotional ties appear. However freedom from the emotions, is the ability to cut these attachments where the feelings do not affect you in a negative way. You are able to keep physical attachments with people around you but not allow them to hold you back from your goals and your destiny.

So now it’s time to free yourself and soar high. You have the right to take back control and find your peace. You have this life… in this lifetime. Let it be your best because you’re worth it.

Keep smiling… Remember u make your happiness.

Ps. If you would like to cut  your emotional ties and achieve the freedom you deserve, contact me on 07737495666.

 

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Slipping back to Old Habits

We’ve all been there and done that!!! Haven’t we? When we realise that something isn’t right in our lives and living becomes a mundane act of our reality, many of us acknowledge that it is time to change. Reorganising and tweaking what we do can be daunting for some individuals, especially if they don’t know where to start. For others, it might be refreshing…similar to a spring clean. When your home seems to become a stagnant zone, what do you do? We de-clutter, shift furniture around, get rid of things we haven’t used in a while and take them down to the local charity shops or we may even freshen up the walls with a coat of paint. All of these are great to change your physical environment and get the energies flowing again but what could we do to get rid of old habits, permanently, that make us stagnant and holds us back from experiencing our true self ie. happiness, love and inner peace?

TIPS:

  • If you do more of the same, you get the same result. I fall into this vicious cycle at times. If I need to get fit again and loose a few pounds, I take out a gym membership. For a few months, my motivation and adrenalin gets me into a great workout routine. However, boredom sets in or I make silly excuses that distracts me from my goal and my gym visits start to decrease. This is the point when I start to slip back into old habits. Is it helpful??? NOOOOOOOOOOO
  • Visualise yourself at the end of achieving your target or goal you set. If you can build  a clear picture in your unconscious mind, then you can reach that target with a positive mind set. Visualisation is more powerful than willpower.
  • Be aware and mindful of how you feel. Take a daily audit of your feelings  and emotions and record them in a diary, which I call ‘my golden book’. You start to understand what makes you happy or sad, anxious or relaxed, bored or excited etc.  If you are feeling a negative emotion/feeling, consciously do something that changes that feeling. For example I have family living in various parts of the world. My mum, who is my rock and my best friend, tugs at my heart strings and at times I ache for her hug. Missing a loved one can be a hard emotion to shake off. So when I’m feeling a bit down, I will face time or call her so that I can instantaneously get my happy feelings flowing again.
  • When you have lost someone special, this feeling sadness and letting go of the pain from the loss can be challenging. Remembering them by their smile or by flipping through a photo album or even watching home videos can help you feel their love through the beautiful memories you have and put a smile on your face. If you find that this is too painful, then I lovingly suggest you seek professional help to  work through the grieving process.
  • If you find yourself starting to clutter again in your physical environment – do a weekly clean up. De-clutter your mental space by give yourself permission to release all unwanted feelings through meditation, yoga or self hypnosis.
  • WARNING TO ALL Young girls and Ladies… During that time of the month (before our menstrual cycle), it is very easy to feel sorry for ourselves and feel emotional turmoil. Take cognisance of how you are feeling and accept the fact that this is due to an imbalance of hormones in our body . Don’t make important decisions during this time. If you find that the world around you is just annoying and you are moody or snappy, take time out to give yourself special TLC. You are also entitled to chocolate… in moderation because it gets your serotonin levels (happy chemicals in your brain) back up again.
  • When you find yourself  regressing to harmful old habits, STOP and ask yourself, ‘How can I do things differently to make me less stressed and more happy?’ Tune in and listen to yourself. You have all the solutions so trust yourself.
  • Do not procrastinate!! This is absolutely painful to your life. Live in the NOW moment and be care free and high spirited.
  • Positive affirmations on a visualisation board are just awesome to keep you focussed on your targets.

These are just some of the tips I use myself and also share with my patients. Have a go and see which one works for you. Or if you do things differently  and have your own techniques to achieve smiling freedom, please feel free to share.

Keep smiling…remember U make UR happiness!

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